Sunday, April 29, 2007

It's A Cry-Fest Around Here......

Today Randy left on a military trip for the first time since Mackenzie was born. The kids were sleeping (for what seemed to be only a minute or two...) when Randy walked out the door, but there I was, PJ's and all, standing in the doorway with tears in my eyes. I know I am so blessed to have a husband who is dedicated to our country, but it is always so hard to watch him drive away knowing full well where he is going.

I think of his sacrifices and the things he misses while he is gone and I am, once again, flooded with pride and thankfulness for the man that he is. Randy is such a help with the kids. He loves bath time with Connor. They can play in that tub for so long and I never know who is more disappointed when I come through the door saying, "OK, it's time to get out!" I love to hear them giggle and play and splash in the water (no matter how big a mess they make!!). Randy has even been brave enough to get Mackenzie in the bath for a short minute to wash her up and get her clean.

If you spent even just 5 minutes in our home, you would definitely hear the rumblings of laughter as Randy plays "airplane" with Connor. They go zooming through the house and Little Bug shrieks with delight!!! You'd think we'd taken him to Disneyland or something. As they fly around Connor does this super cute thing with his legs. He pumps them back and forth so fast I think he thinks he's making Daddy go faster and faster. Randy calls it his Rudolph move!!! Maybe he's training to be part of Santa's reindeer team this year. Oh how I love to see my boys playing. Randy is an awesome father!!! All of these things I know he will miss over the next couple of weeks of being away. Again, I am blessed that he doesn't have to be gone for months at a time. My heart goes out to military wives who have to be by themselves for months, even years at a time. But especially on the days that Randy leaves, it feels like we won't see him forever.

So, it's a cry-fest around here today. I'm missing Randy. Connor's missing Daddy. And, Mackenzie.....well, she doesn't know why she's crying, but let's just put it this way, she won't stop. It's 1:00pm and I'm still in my PJ's with the same sad eyes that were standing in the door way at 8:00am this morning. We'll find our rhythm in a few days I'm sure, but for today I've told myself, "It's OK to be sad!!"

So honey, if you get to read this when you land in places unknown, know that we ALL love you and miss you and can't wait for your safe return to us. Thanks for your sacrifices for our family and be assured I will be holding down the fort while you're gone (or at least I'll be trying to that is...HEE HEE!!!). Rest up too....Reindeer training must resume upon your return!!! I love you sweetheart!!!!!!!!!!

Over the past year these blogs have become a personal expression for me and quite honestly a window into my heart and soul. I've expressed pain, worry, anger, fear, happiness, joy, faith and most importantly love. I won't apologize for the personal nature that they sometimes take because that is just who I am. I guess you could simply be privileged to feel like part of our family, because I know that's how we feel to have so many "family members" out there in blog land.

Lovebug Hugs,