Sunday, April 29, 2007

It's A Cry-Fest Around Here......

Today Randy left on a military trip for the first time since Mackenzie was born. The kids were sleeping (for what seemed to be only a minute or two...) when Randy walked out the door, but there I was, PJ's and all, standing in the doorway with tears in my eyes. I know I am so blessed to have a husband who is dedicated to our country, but it is always so hard to watch him drive away knowing full well where he is going.

I think of his sacrifices and the things he misses while he is gone and I am, once again, flooded with pride and thankfulness for the man that he is. Randy is such a help with the kids. He loves bath time with Connor. They can play in that tub for so long and I never know who is more disappointed when I come through the door saying, "OK, it's time to get out!" I love to hear them giggle and play and splash in the water (no matter how big a mess they make!!). Randy has even been brave enough to get Mackenzie in the bath for a short minute to wash her up and get her clean.

If you spent even just 5 minutes in our home, you would definitely hear the rumblings of laughter as Randy plays "airplane" with Connor. They go zooming through the house and Little Bug shrieks with delight!!! You'd think we'd taken him to Disneyland or something. As they fly around Connor does this super cute thing with his legs. He pumps them back and forth so fast I think he thinks he's making Daddy go faster and faster. Randy calls it his Rudolph move!!! Maybe he's training to be part of Santa's reindeer team this year. Oh how I love to see my boys playing. Randy is an awesome father!!! All of these things I know he will miss over the next couple of weeks of being away. Again, I am blessed that he doesn't have to be gone for months at a time. My heart goes out to military wives who have to be by themselves for months, even years at a time. But especially on the days that Randy leaves, it feels like we won't see him forever.

So, it's a cry-fest around here today. I'm missing Randy. Connor's missing Daddy. And, Mackenzie.....well, she doesn't know why she's crying, but let's just put it this way, she won't stop. It's 1:00pm and I'm still in my PJ's with the same sad eyes that were standing in the door way at 8:00am this morning. We'll find our rhythm in a few days I'm sure, but for today I've told myself, "It's OK to be sad!!"

So honey, if you get to read this when you land in places unknown, know that we ALL love you and miss you and can't wait for your safe return to us. Thanks for your sacrifices for our family and be assured I will be holding down the fort while you're gone (or at least I'll be trying to that is...HEE HEE!!!). Rest up too....Reindeer training must resume upon your return!!! I love you sweetheart!!!!!!!!!!

Over the past year these blogs have become a personal expression for me and quite honestly a window into my heart and soul. I've expressed pain, worry, anger, fear, happiness, joy, faith and most importantly love. I won't apologize for the personal nature that they sometimes take because that is just who I am. I guess you could simply be privileged to feel like part of our family, because I know that's how we feel to have so many "family members" out there in blog land.

Lovebug Hugs,
Lori

14 comments:

Bug said...

Im sorry he had to go Lori... But hopefully it will be a fast trip and he will be home soon... You know he has to miss all of you guys so much. Big Hugs Sheila

Anonymous said...

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts..
And that Randy comes home safe and fast...

Anonymous said...

Lori,

I have been following your blog for about a year now...and what a priviledge it has been to pray for Connor and your family as you have walked through tremendously challenging times as well as the beautiful times (Connor learning new skills, his birthday, Mackenzie's arrival, etc.)...

Abbie and I will pray for Randy and his safe return...and we will pray that you find a rhythm in the next few days for caring for your little ones.


I'm going to be starting a blog in the next few months (once I have a referral...I'm getting closer) to chronicle my journey of bringing home baby Noah from Kathmandu, Nepal...Abbie is looking forward to having a little brother, and as for me...I'm excited to have a son...it will be step of faith for me as a single gal...but, I am following what I believe God to be calling me to do...whew! If you are interested I'll share the blog site with you....

oh, gosh, I don't know if that was too much information, and not enough thoughtful words...but, in some way maybe you'll get a smile out of my rambling...

anyway...although we do not know you well...Abbie and I pray for you, and care for you and your family...

Kristine and Abbie from Bellingham
(friends of Bryan and Heather)

Anonymous said...

Randy,

Thanks for you service to our wonderful county. We owe this great land with all of its freedoms to men and women like you! Praying for a speedy and safe trip.

Lori,

Thank YOU for letting all of us be a part of your life. You are awesome.

amy flege said...

awww lori... iam sorry you have to go through this. it makes me sad too :(
tell your hubby thank you for doing what he does for our country.
hugs to you and you kiddos!!!

Teresa said...

Lori,

you are so good about sharing what your feeling. That in itself is such a blessing and an outlet......Yes, Yes, Yes it's o.k. to be sad just as long as you get happy again! Our pastor say's tears are cleansing...so cleanse away Sister!!! I will be praying for a speedy & safe return for Randy & that these weeks will go quick & smooth. You are an awesome Mommy!

P.S. I remember being in pajama's it seemed like lot's when the kiddies were little. Enjoy it now....... I have to be up & ready to drive kids to school every day!! Hey, can we have a pajama day sometime??!!.... Ha Ha. (amazing how a little time & perspective can change things!)

Remember to take care of LORI too. I love you, try to see the silver lining in each day. (sorry if I'm getting too preachy! I just care about you!)

OH....Please give my niece & nephew a great big HUG & KISS!

Love and God bless, Teresa

Anonymous said...

Hi Lori
I hope that your time with out randy will "fly" by quickly. I hope that you can plan out some fun things while he is gone to help the time pass quicker. Enjoy this time with your princess being sooo tiny, they grow out of this stage way too quick. Ellyanah will be 2 on Friday and how I long sometimes to have her be back as a new born. Every season has its good and hard points but try to enjoy and relax and not work too hard while Randy is gone. I will keep you in my prayers. Maybe you can do the airplane game while daddy is gone? Sorry,..........just a thought! LOL
love
Tammy

susanke said...

You are a precious woman and you have such a precious family. May you find joy and peace today as you care for those little ones and await Randy's return. Also know that you and Randy are giving a special gift to your children as you raise them up in the knowledge of God. It has kingdom impact!

Anonymous said...

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28


He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
Revelation 21: 4

Shannon and Carey said...

Hi Connor man and baby Kenzie,
Lori, you got that right. We are your family even though we are far away. We support you and Randy and the kids and we wish him safe returns as always. I hope your eyes have dried up a little bit. I get sad every monring when my husband goes to work. I cant imagine what you go through when Randy leaves for weeks. Hang in there sister. Youre one tough momma!
Love,
Shannon and Family in Austin

Emery six said...

Lori and Randy, Thanks for leaving your encouraging, Godly comments on Brent's blog before and after his recent cancer scan. It blessed us very deeply. When we return to the hospital for these follow-ups we always feel like we want to be on the look-out for you both...as if it were the old days when we would run into each other and share encouragement and smiles when Brent and Connor were in the hospital together. It is a nostalgic feeling we get when we are there. We get a strange feeling when we realize none of our hospital buddies are still there as we automatically scan the cafeteria for a friendly face. Bless you as you work with Connor on his feeding rehab...sometimes it seems like it will never happen, but we've been through it and it will happen, just keep on doing what you are doing. I hope Randy gets back soon! Love all your recent pictures of Connor and 'Kenzie.
Love from, Susan (and John)

Anonymous said...

hey Lori
just checking in to see how it is going? Thinking of you often.
Love
Tammy

Bug said...

Hi Lori, Connor and Mackenzie

How are you all holding up with out your daddy home? Is he going to be gone Lori? How is Connor feeling after his cold? I bet he is all better and just as cute as ever!

Give those two little ones kisses from me and Sky and BIG Hugs!!!

Love Ya Sheila

Anonymous said...

Hi Lori,
just seeing how you are doing. Hope the cry fest is simmering down a bit. Hope things are well and you are enjoying these beautiful sunny days with your little ones!
Love,
Sue