Friday, May 26, 2006

Connor and Daddy have prayer time.....

Connor lets fold our hands and get ready to Daddy will help OK

Littlebug prayed:

Jesus I love you and my Mommy and Daddy and my doggy .... oh and all my bugs too. And thank you Jesus for all my family and friends that love me sooooo much and pray for me. Oh Jesus do ya think I could go home pretty soon...I'm gettin kinda tired of being here OK....Amen

Ok Daddy its your turn.......I'll keep my hands folded for you ok......

With God behind us and his arms beneath us, we can face whatever lies before us.....Amen


Thursday, May 25, 2006

Two wonderful surprises!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today was met with the challenge of moving out of the "sleeping room" upstairs and back out to the trailer. Boy, you really don't realize how much "stuff" you can accumulate around here. Connor had an extremely sleepy day today!!! He literally slept the entire day except for about an hour this morning during his 1st real session of physical therapy!!! I just left him at 10:45pm and he's still sleeping. So I guess what they say is true, when babies sleep, they're either growing or healing and Little Bug needs to do both.

This evening was filled with 2 wonderful surprises. First, the pastor that married my parents over 40 years ago stopped in for a visit and a time of prayer. What a fantastic surprise to see Pastor and Mrs. Bruener!!!! You both are truly gems and treasures of our Heavenly Father's heart.....thanks for your encouragement!! Secondly, the "Stars" class, which is 8-9 year old girls, from Westgate Chaple church came with their teacher Jennifer to deliver a big, beautiful basket of goodies and a huge dose of love and smiles. Thanks girls for your prayers for our family and for your willingness to come and be a blessing!!!!

I will write more tomorrow on Connor's progress. I hope to have an answer and results from the biopsy they did last week. For tonight, all is well and our prayers are with Little Bug for a good nights rest and continued healing for his little body!!!

Lovebug Hugs,

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Day at home......

Yesterday I was able to sneak home for a few hours. Randy was willing and eager to stay here at the hospital with little bug so I jumped in the car and headed toward Auburn. I picked up the mail from the post office and made the trek up to Lakeland Hills. Wow, a lot had changed around there. More houses being built, more stop signs with blinking lights (where did they come from??) and flowers blooming. I realized when I drove into our driveway just how much time I had lost being here at the hospital. I surveyed the front yard and saw remnants of daffodils and tulips that had once been in bloom. Our little tree that we babied along last year was full of new growth and our cherry blossom tree was already through its blooming course. Uuugghhh.....I missed it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As the garage door lifted I had a pounding in my heart....part nervousness and part excitement to just be in our home, but as I walked through the doors it became evident that this wasn't the home I left. I left a warm and cozy, music filled home where laughter was plentiful and love abounded. When I walked in it was cold and dark and it didn't resemble the picture that was in my mind. I cried and cried and cried when my heart recognized the truth that home isn't home if your family isn't there. I could hardly walk up the stairs and pass by Little Bugs room without completely loosing it. So, I did what moms do. I did laundry, swished around the toilets, wiped out an empty refridgerator, went through the pile of mail and left.

Before leaving I was able to see the neighbors and visit our dog Abbey. She licked and licked and licked!!!! I guess I really do miss that dog!!! Thanks to the Foxes for so diligently watching Abbey and making her a part of your family. It was good to visit with Rhonda and the girls, Randy & Christine and our next door neighbor Dave. As hard as it was to be at "home", you guys made me feel like nothing had really changed.......THANKS!!!!

I also indulged in a much needed pedicure!!!!! Boy my toes were thankful for that unexpected surprise. Thanks Christine for blessing me with such a great surprise!!!! Once I made it back to the hospital, Little Bug was sleeping away!!! He had had a pretty good day with lots of sleeping. At about 10pm he completely freaked out again and the cycle began to repeat itself. He finally settled out after midnight and he has been sleeping off and on ever since. The docs are trying desperately to divise a new plan for Connor, but it isn't in place yet. Once again, I will keep you all posted on what is happening.

Lovebug Hugs,

Monday, May 22, 2006


Ok, Ok, here's your blog entry....(lol)

As you might have guessed, the past few days have been a wonderful reunion with daddy!! We have heeded the advice of many and just enjoyed lots of uninterrupted snuggle time as a family. Connor had a weekend of ups and downs. Saturday he experienced a full day of new symptoms. Things like jerking, rapid eye blinking, audible noises unlike any we had heard before and all over agitation. They kept saying it was more seizure like activity, but that just didn’t sit well with us. I finally asked the nurse to assess him on a withdrawl scale and sure enough, he was experiencing withdrawl. He went from a lot of narcotics to none at all in an instant. No wonder he was acting weird. They now have him on a scheduled narcotic wean and that seems to be working well. We hope and pray that once the drugs are out of his system that he will mellow out and be free of these new symptoms. We are constantly praying for wisdom for the doctors so that we don’t chase down rabbit trails that will lead us nowhere. It seemed that if we hadn’t intervened over the weekend we would be looking at a neurological journey chasing seizure symptoms. Continued prayer for the doctors and nurses and staff is always appreciated.

Sunday he was pretty sleepy as he was catching up from a couple days without any long periods of rest. We were also blessed by the Ferndale Assembly of God churches bible study group visit. A group of 9 ladies came to have a special time of prayer over Connor and Randy and I. What a powerful time we had at Connor’s bedside. Thanks for the encouragement and love ladies. You are all a blessing to our hearts.

Today was met with the usual Monday morning blues. The realization of another week ahead brought not only a heaviness in me, but also a certain sadness. Will this be another week without answers or will we see the hand of God move on our behalf? Will we make progress or slip backwards or even more frustrating, simply stand still? My heart was taken to the Psalms today. You know the ones…the ones that we normally wallow in when life just doesn’t seem right. “How long will you forget me Lord, forever?” (Ps. 13:1) “Why have you rejected me Oh Lord?” “Why must I go about mourning?” (Ps. 43:2) “My tears have been my food day and night.” (Ps. 42:3) The laments of David in the Psalms have become a constant source of security for me, even a friend if you will allow the analogy. I feel like David and I have quite a camaraderie together. He had an enemy and so do we. He felt pressed on every side and so do we. But, just like David, His hope was in the Lord, and so is ours. I love the word “but” in the Psalms. Just when you think David’s had all he can take, there is a “but”. “But I will rejoice in your unfailing love.” “But I will hope in the Lord.” “But I will trust in you day and night.” But you give me victory.” I choose this day to see the hope and the glory in our situation with Little Bug. I choose to see the “through” of this rather than the standing still.

I saw God’s faithfulness in the most practical way today. It came in the form of a hand to hold, the company of friends to cry with, the gentle loving arms of dear ones holding our son, (a picture, of which, I will hold forever in my heart!), and deep down belly laughter at the silly, unfortunate events that others have endured. Oh, like water to my weary soul was a morning spent with the love and support of friends. Isn’t it great to be surprised by God? I know that it was the leading of the Spirit of the Lord that orchestrated our morning and how glad I am that my human grumpiness was interrupted by the greatness of God’s people being faithful. My heart is leaping and shouting out with grateful reprise, “I will sing to the Lord for he has been good to me.” (Ps. 13:6)

I was reminded of another truth today. In just a moment, God can decide to change our course. In a moment He can dispense healing. In a moment we will be ready to be discharged and go home. In a moment we will see our Little Bug’s story unfold. Our days are made up of all these moments that, when added together, spell out the faithfulness of our God. Dear Lord, “Thank you Lord for the moments that you are giving us. We would never have asked for this journey, but you knew better than we did what we needed to draw our hearts closer to you. Who knows where we would be today had our steps not been redirected by you. We trust that our moments are in your hands and that you will deliver us from the fear that so easily slips into our hearts. Forgive our moments of fear and unbelief and replace them with your peace, your grace and your great love. Amen.”

Lovebug Hugs,
Randy & Little Bug too