Monday, May 22, 2006

Moments.......

Ok, Ok, here's your blog entry....(lol)

As you might have guessed, the past few days have been a wonderful reunion with daddy!! We have heeded the advice of many and just enjoyed lots of uninterrupted snuggle time as a family. Connor had a weekend of ups and downs. Saturday he experienced a full day of new symptoms. Things like jerking, rapid eye blinking, audible noises unlike any we had heard before and all over agitation. They kept saying it was more seizure like activity, but that just didn’t sit well with us. I finally asked the nurse to assess him on a withdrawl scale and sure enough, he was experiencing withdrawl. He went from a lot of narcotics to none at all in an instant. No wonder he was acting weird. They now have him on a scheduled narcotic wean and that seems to be working well. We hope and pray that once the drugs are out of his system that he will mellow out and be free of these new symptoms. We are constantly praying for wisdom for the doctors so that we don’t chase down rabbit trails that will lead us nowhere. It seemed that if we hadn’t intervened over the weekend we would be looking at a neurological journey chasing seizure symptoms. Continued prayer for the doctors and nurses and staff is always appreciated.

Sunday he was pretty sleepy as he was catching up from a couple days without any long periods of rest. We were also blessed by the Ferndale Assembly of God churches bible study group visit. A group of 9 ladies came to have a special time of prayer over Connor and Randy and I. What a powerful time we had at Connor’s bedside. Thanks for the encouragement and love ladies. You are all a blessing to our hearts.

Today was met with the usual Monday morning blues. The realization of another week ahead brought not only a heaviness in me, but also a certain sadness. Will this be another week without answers or will we see the hand of God move on our behalf? Will we make progress or slip backwards or even more frustrating, simply stand still? My heart was taken to the Psalms today. You know the ones…the ones that we normally wallow in when life just doesn’t seem right. “How long will you forget me Lord, forever?” (Ps. 13:1) “Why have you rejected me Oh Lord?” “Why must I go about mourning?” (Ps. 43:2) “My tears have been my food day and night.” (Ps. 42:3) The laments of David in the Psalms have become a constant source of security for me, even a friend if you will allow the analogy. I feel like David and I have quite a camaraderie together. He had an enemy and so do we. He felt pressed on every side and so do we. But, just like David, His hope was in the Lord, and so is ours. I love the word “but” in the Psalms. Just when you think David’s had all he can take, there is a “but”. “But I will rejoice in your unfailing love.” “But I will hope in the Lord.” “But I will trust in you day and night.” But you give me victory.” I choose this day to see the hope and the glory in our situation with Little Bug. I choose to see the “through” of this rather than the standing still.

I saw God’s faithfulness in the most practical way today. It came in the form of a hand to hold, the company of friends to cry with, the gentle loving arms of dear ones holding our son, (a picture, of which, I will hold forever in my heart!), and deep down belly laughter at the silly, unfortunate events that others have endured. Oh, like water to my weary soul was a morning spent with the love and support of friends. Isn’t it great to be surprised by God? I know that it was the leading of the Spirit of the Lord that orchestrated our morning and how glad I am that my human grumpiness was interrupted by the greatness of God’s people being faithful. My heart is leaping and shouting out with grateful reprise, “I will sing to the Lord for he has been good to me.” (Ps. 13:6)

I was reminded of another truth today. In just a moment, God can decide to change our course. In a moment He can dispense healing. In a moment we will be ready to be discharged and go home. In a moment we will see our Little Bug’s story unfold. Our days are made up of all these moments that, when added together, spell out the faithfulness of our God. Dear Lord, “Thank you Lord for the moments that you are giving us. We would never have asked for this journey, but you knew better than we did what we needed to draw our hearts closer to you. Who knows where we would be today had our steps not been redirected by you. We trust that our moments are in your hands and that you will deliver us from the fear that so easily slips into our hearts. Forgive our moments of fear and unbelief and replace them with your peace, your grace and your great love. Amen.”

Lovebug Hugs,
Lori
Randy & Little Bug too

8 comments:

ofelia said...

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Philippians 4:13

Lori & Randy;
So glad to hear of all the encouragement that came your way this week-end. I pray that the LORD bless you both with a renewed touch as you face another week. Enjoy each and every moment you have with your little family.
Ofelia Ayala

Dad & Mom M said...

Lori, Randy,& Little Bug,
What a wonderful essay on the love of God. We can see how God has touched all of your hearts with hope even in the midst of all of your struggles, and we continue to pray that God will bring about healing in Connor so that ALL of you can go home!

We say AMEN & AMEN to all that you have said.

Love from Dad & Mom.

Anonymous said...

Where do I go, oh where do I go finding a refuge for my soul? Needing a friend to help me to the end. Where do I go but to the Lord. Praise God from whom all blessings flow..Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Him above the heavenly host..Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen.

Anonymous said...

Lori & Randy,
So glad you are all together again. We are praying that this will not be another week of no answers, but a week on God's continued faithfulness and good reports on Connor's behalf. We love you three and are praying continually for all of you. We are hoping to come up there soon. I will call you Mom first.
love you guys
Sue, Randy & family

Shawn Z said...

"Look What the Lord Has Done" The Holy Ghost Hip Hop is a dance to be danced and a song to be sung!! Yes, in a moment...what a word of faith. God let that moment come to pass that we may rejoice and be glad in you. Thank you Lord that you look past the "junk" and see the need. You are truly the need meeter and watering can to our soul. Let our hearts blossom and glorify your beauty!

Tammee, Michael's Mom said...

Amen.
Lori your strength in the Lord strengthens me. I pray and think of you, Randy and Conner everyday!
We love you! XXXXOOOO

Anonymous said...

Hi Lori and Randy,
Adrionna saw Baby Connor's pictures for the first time and her heart just went out to him. She wants me to tell baby Connor that she misses and loves him and wants him to get out of the hospital!

I am leaving the country with my work, but my love and prayers are with you!

Talk to you soon.

Love, JoAnn Andro and family

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