Monday, August 07, 2006

Hovering.........

Have you ever felt like a hovercraft? You know what I mean right? Its when you quickly ascend to a particular altitude and then you're stuck. You do not move up. You do not move down. You do not move to the right. You do not move to the left. You're standing still, suspended in space and time with only air to uphold you. This is exactly how I feel today, except it is not air holding me up. It is the safe and soft hands of God that are sustaining me. I would be lying if I said I wasn't frustrated today. I am!!!!! I am so tired of the same old discussions. The same old blather...... BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!! I don't have the energy to tell Little Bugs story and history to one more doctor or specialist. We need movement, we don't need more talking. I'm tired of talking!!!!

Oh Lord, quiet this anxious heart and replace my worry with your confidence. I am weary and I am loosing sight of the goal that you have in store for Connor. I know you want to teach us to trust you more, but you are testing us in ways we could never have imagined. In my heart I know that You and You alone are God and You alone can quench this thirsty heart. Fill me Lord with your peace. Fill my soul with your overwhelming presence. Allow these eyes to "Look to the hills from whence cometh my help." I do trust you God. By faith I speak your word and your life over little Connor this night. Invade his sleep with your healing hand and renew his spirit. Renew the fight that is within him and let him be an amazement to everyone. Preform a miracle dear Lord so that we may give you the glory, the praise and the honor for your wonderous works. I resign my will Oh Lord. Do with this situation what you will and give our hearts grace and joy to face each new challenge. In your holy and blessed name, Amen!!

Lovebug Hugs,
Lori

6 comments:

Sheila said...

Oh I know what you mean! Im so sorry your going no where, and I know what it feels like to repeat everything over and over again. hang in there Lori, maybe telling Connors story and history one more time to one more new doctor will be the beging of his healing, it only takes one person to hear and see whats happening to be able to figure it out, the Lord has just got to send you that one person!!! Ill hold you all close in our prayers and thoughts hun, hang in there! Hug and kiss that little bug for me! Love You All Sheila

Anonymous said...

Have you shared your frustration with the doctors? Have you gotten firm with them? He needs to have the same doctors following him through the entire journey. Doctors that know his history from the beginning. Doctors that won't try what has already been done and doesn't work!

Anonymous said...

it dosent work that way at Childrens though. Sorry I have to comment to the last comment. Every 7 days the doctors change, its how they run things. Yes in Connors intrest it would be good to have the same doctors everytime, but Im telling you that hospital dosent work that way.

Teresa said...

Hi Lori,

Will you please give Little Bug a great big kiss & Hug for me!! I would be down there in a heartbeat if I could get away easier. Know that we are here for you & understand your frustration. You are an Awesome Mommy & we love you. We are in constant prayer for Connor & the doctor's. One day some doctor is going to have a "lightbulb" moment (as Oprah puts it!!) and think, "Hey we haven't checked this yet." we are praying for the doctor's to sense an urgency to get to the bottom of Connor's struggle so you won't have to hover anymore.

We are praying for you too Randy. Thank you for your huge sacrifice, It doesn't go unnoticed. How hard it must be to be gone. Know that You are in our prayers constantly for safe passage back home & by the way....You are a great daddy.

P.S. Lori, the kid's & I will work really hard to clean up so you won't find any socks when you three come for a visit to Ferndale!!! Ha Ha. Love, me

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