Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Honesty.....

How I wish I could report that things are just so wonderful and that we've been having so much fun that we didn't have time to post. Quite honestly, things aren't the best. Yes, Little Bug's surgery recovery is going as well as can be expected. However, Connor has many complicating issues that remain extremely frustrating!! Randy left for a trip overseas and we have been struggling ever since. Thankfully, I knew my limitations and on Saturday night, after 2 straight days of crying, I called in the reinforcements. My mom came on Saturday night and has been helping out with Connor. She will go home early Wednesday morning and we will miss her. Connor got a good report last Thursday from his cardiologist and he took him off of a couple of meds. We were initially grateful for the downgrade, but it has be horrible ever since. Today I took him in to the pediatrician's office and he said that Connor looked more like he did before surgery with his behaviors and symptoms than he did after surgery. What great frustration we face!!!! The crying is constant and the pain is so evident for Connor. No one can get to the bottom of the problem and I'm beginning to wonder if this will be a lifelong struggle. As much as I want to believe all of your sweet comments that Connor looks so great and you're all so happy that we're doing so well....things aren't great!!! Randy always teases me that when people ask him how we're doing, he says GREAT!! And then when people ask me how we're doing they get more details....I like to say that I just tell the truth. I really don't want to paint a beautiful picture, because life isn't beautiful right now. Don't get me wrong, we love being at home and we love not being at the hospital, but we HATE that Connor is still struggling!!!! We go to appointment after appointment and we get no answers and we constantly go home with a sick baby. Oh how I long for the days so see Connor wake up and giggle and not cry. How I long for him to play and explore and not be in pain. For the moment these things are not our reality. Our reality is one of confusion as we wonder how to help our precious son.

Sorry I don't have any photos to post, but quite frankly, there haven't been many happy moments to grab the camera and capture!!!

As for my toe........I think that Randy has over-exaggerated a little. When we ended up in the ER it was BAD!!! But now, things are much better and the toe is healing just fine. To be honest (since that seems to be the theme of this post) for the past 6 or 7 months I have been dealing with a pretty bad ingrown toenail. As many moms, I put it off and put it off because of our circumstances at the hospital. When all things culminated the day of Connor's surgery, it just couldn't be put off any more!!! It had swollen twice the size and I could hardly walk. I know, I know, my own fault for putting it off, but now things are on the mend. Thanks for all your concern and believe me, I'm also glad they didn't have to amputate!!!! HA HA

Praying for new perspective and a fresh wind of hope for our little family!!!
Lovebug Hugs,
Lori

12 comments:

Bug said...

Hang in there Lori, Connor will get better... I know your tired, and I know your stressed, but the Lord wont let him suffer, he will get better, he will... If you ever need to talk please call me, Im a great listner! Love You All Sheila

Anonymous said...

Lori it is so good to hear from you and I sure appreciate your truthfulness. I am sorry for all the pressure we have all been putting on you to post not realizing that things have not been that great. Now we know all the more how to pray for all of you. You sound really discouraged and righteously so however, do not forget the miracles that have already happened and more are yet to come. I know you must be sooo weary and quite honestly I do not know how you do it - BUT GOD! Hang in there and hopefully Randy will be home soon. How is the pregnancy going? Thanks for answering our question about your toe, how painfull!
Love
Tammy

Debi said...

Lori I have been worried, thinking and praying for you .....my insinct was right..I am soooo sorry that Connor is having such a tough time...that is hard on us as moms huh??? my heart just goes out to you....I am so glad to read your blog.. I knew there was probably more to the story...do you have more help coming after Wednesday or will Randy be home soon....
I will be praying for your family...
Jesus....I lift this family up to you... give them some renewed strength and encouragement for the journey they are on with Little Connor...place your hands on this beautiful boy and release him of his pain give the doctors the wisdom for some answers....
In your precious name Amen

Lori I hope through all this you are taking care of your self and baby????

Take care of you toe!!!!!

Blessing to all of you..
Debi

Teresa said...

Lori,

So sorry things have not been easy lately. How frustrating it must be. Please do remember as Tammy said all the Miracles that have happened thus far....More are around the corner......... I am glad you were so honest. God wants us to be honest & heartfelt with ALL our feelings. You know about the time I went through a very dark time at one point in my life & I really just had to be down right brutally honest with God. He hears our EVERY plea. I am living proof that GOD will lift you up when you can't. I love you!
Please give that little munchin' a huge HUG & KISS from me & tell him I love him.

Lord, Please give Lori an extra amount of strength, raise up her hope & belief & give the doc's wisdom on Connor's behalf. I pray for a miracle TODAY in Connor's precious body.

Emery six said...

Oh Lori, How terrible. How much I had hoped that this season of suffering was over for you, Randy and Little Bug. It is emotionally excruciating to see your baby crying in pain and unbearable when the crying is constant. This has been TOO LONG that you have had to bear this trial. My heart goes out to you, dear friends.

Susan

LeslieAnn said...

Saying a prayer for Connor...and you.

God Bless.

Leslie :)

Anonymous said...

Lori ~

I will definately pray for perspective and a fresh wind of hope for the Robertson family. Your honesty is important, and I promise my prayers will be even more intense that you find the answers that you are looking for. I am so happy that your mom is able to be there, please let me know if there is ANYTHING you need! I would love to figure out a way to be a blessing to you!

Love & Prayers

Andrea

Anonymous said...

oh Lori: I'm so sorry little Connor is having to stuggle with more pain--and you as well. We wondered why no posts but just hoped things were going along well. Thanks for your honesty, we can all pray better when we know the whole story insead of just assuming things are well. This keep us on our prayer bones which is good for all of us. WE pray Randy will get home soon to give you some relief. Our hearts and prayers go out to all of you. We know God does care and we pray things will be looking up soon. We love you. JoAnn & Rip

Heather said...

Lori,
Thank you for being so honest with your updates. We need honesty if we are going to be able to pray specifically for you all. I am so sorry to hear things are still so difficult. I have been hoping and praying that things were on a rapid incline. I can only imagine how exhausted you must be. I will be praying for Connor's health, your strength and endurance and Randy's safe return.

I love you all and will talk with you soon.
Heather B.

Anonymous said...

Life ain't always beautiful, but its a beautiful ride. - Gary Allan
- Ruthie

Anonymous said...

Hey Lori,
Thanks for blogging an update and also thanks for your honesty. Lord, we lift up the precious Robertson family to you. God you know Connor's body so intimately, you know the problems he is facing at the present time. Jesus, touch his precious body Lord, we believe for a miracle today. We have seen your might power work on the behalf of Connor, now Lord give the Doctors unbelievable wisdom and insight and give Connor rest, peace and and pain free days! We love you guys and we are praying!
Love, Sue & family

mum2brady said...

Lori,
Sorry you are going through so much right now. We are keeping Connor in our prayers that the doctors can find out what is causing his pain and intestinal problems so your cute boy can feel better and get back to his giggly self....

Hugs and prayers being sent your way!