Honesty.....

How I wish I could report that things are just so wonderful and that we've been having so much fun that we didn't have time to post. Quite honestly, things aren't the best. Yes, Little Bug's surgery recovery is going as well as can be expected. However, Connor has many complicating issues that remain extremely frustrating!! Randy left for a trip overseas and we have been struggling ever since. Thankfully, I knew my limitations and on Saturday night, after 2 straight days of crying, I called in the reinforcements. My mom came on Saturday night and has been helping out with Connor. She will go home early Wednesday morning and we will miss her. Connor got a good report last Thursday from his cardiologist and he took him off of a couple of meds. We were initially grateful for the downgrade, but it has be horrible ever since. Today I took him in to the pediatrician's office and he said that Connor looked more like he did before surgery with his behaviors and symptoms than he did after surgery. What great frustration we face!!!! The crying is constant and the pain is so evident for Connor. No one can get to the bottom of the problem and I'm beginning to wonder if this will be a lifelong struggle. As much as I want to believe all of your sweet comments that Connor looks so great and you're all so happy that we're doing so well....things aren't great!!! Randy always teases me that when people ask him how we're doing, he says GREAT!! And then when people ask me how we're doing they get more details....I like to say that I just tell the truth. I really don't want to paint a beautiful picture, because life isn't beautiful right now. Don't get me wrong, we love being at home and we love not being at the hospital, but we HATE that Connor is still struggling!!!! We go to appointment after appointment and we get no answers and we constantly go home with a sick baby. Oh how I long for the days so see Connor wake up and giggle and not cry. How I long for him to play and explore and not be in pain. For the moment these things are not our reality. Our reality is one of confusion as we wonder how to help our precious son.

Sorry I don't have any photos to post, but quite frankly, there haven't been many happy moments to grab the camera and capture!!!

As for my toe........I think that Randy has over-exaggerated a little. When we ended up in the ER it was BAD!!! But now, things are much better and the toe is healing just fine. To be honest (since that seems to be the theme of this post) for the past 6 or 7 months I have been dealing with a pretty bad ingrown toenail. As many moms, I put it off and put it off because of our circumstances at the hospital. When all things culminated the day of Connor's surgery, it just couldn't be put off any more!!! It had swollen twice the size and I could hardly walk. I know, I know, my own fault for putting it off, but now things are on the mend. Thanks for all your concern and believe me, I'm also glad they didn't have to amputate!!!! HA HA

Praying for new perspective and a fresh wind of hope for our little family!!!
Lovebug Hugs,
Lori