Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Music speaks to my heart.....

The other day when my mom was here, I ran out of the house to do a quick errand. She had me take her car since it was already out of the garage. When I got in, I immediately turned on the CD player to see what she had in her car. I was surprised to hear some of our favorite worship songs from Don Moen, who does CD's for Integrity Hosanna music. As I listened, I cried and cried and cried. Today when my mom left early this morning, I asked her if I could borrow the cd for a while. I plugged the cd into my kitchen player earlier today and I let it play over and over again. I want to share with you a song that has been speaking to me and touching my heart. As you all know, my weariness and frustration with Little Bug's situation has grown significantly over the past couple of weeks. I grow so tired of trusting God for answers, only to be smacked in the face with nothing. Many of you may think, "How can she still trust God?" Well, to answer that question in short, I not only believe in God, I believe God!!!! I believe that God can and will do what He promises. I believe God to heal our son and I believe God to see me through this challenging time. Is it easy? NO!!!! Do I think about throwing in the towel? You bet I do!! Do I turn my back on God? NO!!!!!!! I have learned in my short 36 years of life that God doesn't always answer our prayers the way we want or expect Him to. Does that mean we stop praying and asking God to do what only He can do? NO WAY. The song you are going to hear just above this post (under audio post) says it clearly....." I don't know what to say and I don't know where to start. But as you give the grace, with all that's in my heart....I will sing! I will pray! Even in my darkest hour, through the sorrow and the pain. I will sing! I will pray! Lift my hands to honor You, because Your word is true. I will sing!"

"Lord, I lift this song to you as a prayer. Accept my cry and move on Connor's behalf. We trust you for a miracle for Little Bug and we trust you for an infusion of hope. We are pressed on every side dear Lord. Give us grace in this process that seems so lonely at the moment and touch our hearts with your peace. Amen"

I hope this song ministers to you as much as it is ministering to me!!!

Lovebug Hugs,

PS ~ Sorry the song is kind of garbbled......I tried my best!!!


Jo Ann Collins said...

Lori- How beautiful and uplifting. Know this has ministered to your heart and frustration. Hang in there kiddo.
God does things in his own time and own way and I think you have a really good prespective on that. I think you have held up tremendously through all this. I know the Lord has been with you and will continue to be there. We know there will be those times when the frustration builds but even then HE is there to hold you and carry you. Love you Jo Ann

wyndi steve and izabell said...

lori i m sorry that it is still very hard for you guys. i know how frustrating it was for me when we finally made it through open heart and izabell was still sick, it maked my heart sink into my stomache and i worry constantly that we are missing something. we we are here for you, just call if you need help and we can drive down, even if it is just so you can use the bathroom with the door closed. lol

Anonymous said...

What a great song - and sounds like perfect timing! I pray that you will continue to be ministered by that one and songs like it. Thanks for sharing it with us & allowing us to be reminded of His faithfulness even in our darkest hours.

My heart has been so heavy for you. Honestly, I can't even fathom all that you're enduring and can't pretend to understand the depth of pain & frustration because I know the words we read can't even begin to express all the emotion within. But we are praying for you & bringing you all before the mighty Throne of God who is able to do abundantly more than we can ever think or ask for!

May your house be filled with music!

Love you,

Susie - Maggie's Mom said...

Hi Sweet Lori, my heart hurts for you, Connor and Randy. I just pray that the doctors figure out what is making little bug hurt. You are such a good mom and he is so lucky to have you and Randy for parents. The song is very beautiful - thank you for sharing. Your Friend, Susie.

Anonymous said...

Lori and Randy and Little bug,

I had to sell my computer, but have my cousins I can use, but didn't have the blogspot addresss, so I finally got it from your mom today, and here I am. I have been praying for you all, and I knew that the Surgery was coming up, so I continued to pray, You are in His Hands, you can rest in His Arms. I know this to, because I am also having to remember this. I love you guys, give little bug, a hug for me.Darina