Friday, October 13, 2006

12:45AM!!!!!!!!

After tossing and turning since 9pm I think I had finally fallen asleep when I hear, "Ring, Ring..." the telephone in my room was ringing at 12:45am. With sheer panic I answered to hear, "Mrs. Robertson, Please hold the line, the doctor wants to speak with you." Soon after that Connor's doctor got on the line and told me that the respitory team was in the process of re-intubating Little Bug. They had done some blood work earlier because his fever was rising so high and his CO2 levels had reached 98!!! You or I would be dead with that number!!! Somehow Connor's body had been compinsating for the high levels, but this time he was not. They made the decision to put the breathing tube back in to give him a break from all the work that his body was having to provide just to get him by in marginal fashion. So, it's back to the heavy sedation, pain medication and many more days of Little Bug's eyes being closed. I guess I feel blessed that today when he was only on the c-pap when I kissed him I could actually kiss his lips.....small blessing indeed, but huge in a mother's eyes who feels like everything else has been taken away.

Lovebug Hugs,
Lori

PS ~ No word from Randy yet....My hope is that he is airborne and westbound!!!!

19 comments:

Cookie said...

My heart just aches so for you Lori. I hope that this morning dawns a little brighter, and finds Connor stronger. We're all thinking of you and praying for you every day. Jan/ME

Heather said...

Lori,
I am out of words. I can't pretend to know what to say or how you feel. All I know is that my heart breaks as I read this, knowing that your heart is breaking...knowing that LittleBug is struggling. Sometimes I don't comment here because this is how I feel. I don't know what to say. All I know is that if I were in WA I would be on my way to the hospital at this very moment and walking straight to you to put my arms around you. I can't do that physically, so I want you to know that I am doing that spiritually. I am heading to my room now to have some alone time with God. Some time to hold you and Connor up before Him. I know so many others are doing that as well. We are holding you tightly and lifting you up. You take care.
I love you!
Heather B.

Anonymous said...

(((((((HUGS))))))

I have sent some prayers up for you all this am.

Cheryl

Jo Ann Collins said...

Got in to work to read the latest 2 blogs. I join right now with the hundreds, perhaps thousands who are reading your entries and whose hearts are going out to you in love and prayer. We totally understand your hurt, frustration, questioning. We hate it that poor little Connor is having to go through this yet again. As some others have said, if we could be there with you, we would be holding you in our arms and letting you cry your heart out. So spiritually we do that now and ask our Lord to be there in a special way and hold you, Randy and especially Connor close. Somehow God, please give Connor rest in his little spirit and body. Our love & prayers Jo Ann & Rip

Anonymous said...

My Dear Sweet Friend,
I am so sorry. I don't have any eloquent words other than to tell you that this just sucks. (Lou doesn't like it when I use that word, but some situations just call for it!) Just know that I love you bundles and pray for you and your family often. BTW, you are so not MPD! Now, purchasing a $100 plane ticket to go to the Boston Marathon might have been a bit psychotic, but hey, we all have our moments! ;)
No, you are just a mommie who wants her baby to get well. So, give yourself permission to be a mommie and stop apologizing to all of us in bloggerland. We love you just as you are.
Hey, while we were on vacation our vehicle broke down and we ended up taking it to a dealership in Spokane for repair. I so wanted to hop over to the Seattle area...I was so close, yet so far. Uggh!
Your Coke buddie,
Ruthie

Anonymous said...

Lori, how good it will be to get Randy home and hold you like none other. I'm sorry. Your heart must break a little more each time Connor has a regression. I'm so glad you got to kiss his sweet little lips - one little treasure you can hold onto. ... One minute at a time ... Praying for you, Rhonda

Debi said...

Lori
Oh my I just check this AM and I am speachless...You are a wonderful mommy and we all sure appreciate hearing from you ....
I hope that that things settle and the intubation gives Little Bug just rest he needs....
Please know you are always in my thoughts and prayers....

HUGS TO YOU AND LITTLE BUG....
Debi

I hope you have a good day and enjoy the sunshine and all those changing leaves outside...

Aunt Teresa said...

Lori,

Oh how my heart aches for you guys. I really don't have the words right now to express to you. I have to say how wonderful it was to see Connor give you two little smiles yesterday before we went to lunch. That was a blessing & it made my eyes "leak" too. I so wish we could have stayed there all evening long to hold your hand while Connor was seizing. The nurse made it sound like it might not be. Sorry. Hindsight is always 20/20.

We are Sooooo thankful that Randy is headed towards home & to you & littlebug so that you can cling tightly to one another. We love you all so very much. Please know that when we can't physically be there we are giving you "heart hugs".

Lord, Clear Connor's lung's & get him on the road to recovery like you have done many times before. Use the doctor's for divine wisdom & guide them in their every care of him. Amen!

God bless you today & make his face shine upon you in a special way. Teresa & family.

Lisa Poe said...

Randy,Lori and Little Bug. I want to start off by saying thank you. thank you for letting us share in your lives and your journey. Thank you for letting us by the way of technology exsperience the ups and downs the good and the bad times that you all have exsperienced. Today as I read the news I had to stop and ask the Lord how do you want us to pray ? You know what the desires of our hearts are, but above all we want your perfect will for Conner . We don't understand why this child that you created and brought into this world has had to go through all the physical struggles that Conner has had to go through in his short 9 months of life . After talking to God the only thing that came to my mind was when we are lost for words God has taught us to pray and that would be the Lord's prayer.Matthew 6:9-13 "Pray,then,in this way: Our Father who art in Heaven,Hallowed be thy name.'Thy kingdom come.Thy will be done,On earth as it is in heaven.Give us this day our daily bread.'And forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors. 'And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power,and the glory,forever. Amen After I prayed this prayer for bug I felt a peace . God bless you all and you are in our prayers. And Randy THANK YOU for all that you have done and what you do in serving your country . You make us proud Americans !

Bug said...

Lori Im so sorry to hear of the turn of events last night/this morning... But I have to say I after talking with you Im surprised they didnt place the vent back sooner when his blood gas was 88. But 98 is just outrageous! I hope and I pray he is able to get the C02s down and he is able to heal... I know the feelings of gratefulness for each moment with out stuff on his face, but I believe they did the very best for him by placing him back on the vent, he’s just not ready yet, but he will get there!!!!! BIG Bug Hugs we wont be in today as we had a overnight visit from my mom from Oregon last night and she just left, but we will have to come in sooner or later. Hang in there and know were are holding you all in our thoughts and prayers!!!! Love Sheila

ShawnZ said...

Your spiritual tenacity to not give up on our God is so encouraging to the believers and those who don't believe. Your are fighters and your position has not changed. Your feelings, faith, emotions, enviornment, "house", etc...have all been liquid, but your position to serve a God who you know deep in your knower won't let go and is still working on your behalf despite all the yuck is cement. You are a testimony to the world and your vulnerability is a position that I hope to posess all my life so that I too may touch multidues and hear one day, "Well, done, my good and faithful servant."

Love from the Scevers said...

Lori,Randy and precious littlebug Connor. Were sending our LOVE to you. Know that you are in our every thought and prayer.

Randy were praying for a quick and safe return home to your family.

Love from the Scevers

Anonymous said...

Dear Lori,
I have never met you or your family but every day I check Little Bug's site on his progress. I am a new Christian and I am uplifted by the beautiful messages of faith and hope that our fellow Christian's write to your family. I feel too new in my faith to share but I felt compelled to write to you today. This morning I sat down with my bible and came across Mark 14:34-37. Jesus Agonizes in the Garden and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.".. Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." It struck me that it is okay to cry out to God in fear, frustration and anger. You do not always have to put on a brave front. God wants your honest prayers and thoughts so that He can hold and comfort you in your needs. It is so hard to understand why your family is going through this pain and struggle. I can only trust in God that He has a purpose for everything and that He is even now holding your family in His hands. May God bless and comfort you always.

Anonymous said...

Lori, Oh Honey I wish I was there. Just to sit with you and Little bug! I would love to just sing to him, and rub his little fingers and toesies! sorry baby bug talk. I Love this little boy, and I have never met him, yet he has my heart, oh my goodness, I sit here and I know I need to be strong for you, and I will be, but I want you to know, my heart aches and cries for little bug and for you and Randy. God made little bug so beautifully, and precious!! Just like his mama and daddy!! Your in my thoughts and prayers hon! I love you!!! Darina

Auntie Heather Milliren said...

Oh Lori,

We are praying for Little Bug! My, what next for him. . . And, a speedy return home for Randy, too.

Love,

Auntie Heather & Boys

Lynette Maulin said...

Randy and Lori, My heart aches with yours today and I hear what Little Bug is going through right now. Lori, I am so glad that he smiled at you yesterday, that must have felt like a ray of sunshine for your heart! Many prayers are going toward heaven for Little Bug today. Lynette

Anonymous said...

Hi Lori, Just coming in to check on you. Try to get some sleep tonight. Give LIttle Bug a squeeze for me! love, Darina

Tammee, Michael's Mom said...

Lori, I pray for Conner to get his strength back and for you to get some rest. You need rest for yourself and for baby bug! I also pray for Randy's safe return. Give a kiss on Conner's forehead for us today and whisper in his sweet little ear and tell him we love him.
This step back will only lead to steps forward.
Love you!

Susie - Maggie's Mom said...

Lori & Randy, I hope you made it home safely Randy. The pictures you send while you are away are so cute.
I'm so very sorry Connor is having such a hard time right now. I don't even have any eloquent words to write except to say that he has an army of people that love him and haven't even met him. Its just not fair all that he is having to go through, its Connors turn to shine and that is what I'm praying for. Come on little bug YOU CAN DO IT!!! We are sending lots of love and hugs through this blog to all 3 of you (plus wee little bug too :)) Lots of love coming to you from Mount Vernon. DeVries Family