Wednesday, October 11, 2006

It's Official......

I am sad to report that today, on Connor's 9 month birthday, the official findings of the left lung show that it has definately collapsed. The docs are keeping an extra close watch on the situation and they are trying everything to spare Little Bug from going back on the ventulator. Because of the collapse, Connor is having a more difficult time moving air than he should and so his CO2 levels are pretty high. Suprisingly, he is tolerating the levels and they don't feel he is in danger at the moment. Again, they are watching him closely until he is out of the woods. There is still no word on when they may start feeding him again. Still no bowel sounds and the cathater remains in place.

On a brighter note, I hope you all got a chance to step outside today and breathe in the spectacular smells of autumn. Here in Seattle it was bright and beautiful and the leaves were brilliant in their kalidescope of color. It reminded me of days long ago in Eugene, Oregon where one of my favorite places to spend a fall afternoon was the banks of the Willamette River. The serene sound of the water, the glistening of the sun, the sound of the wind and the feel of the crunch of the leaves underneath my feet. Wow, it feels just like yesterday that I would park my car in the parking lot, walk a yard or two to my favorite place and perch myself upon a rock or a blanket for hours upon hours. Sometimes dreaming, sometimes studying, sometimes sleeping to be quite honest, but always thankful for a refreshing drink of beauty. There are times I miss those days and the innocence that they held, but I realize that those times were just a stop on my journey to becoming who I am today. There is a depth inside of my heart that is only present because of the pitstops along my path. I admit I love to go fast and do things at turbo speeds, but I am grateful that through all of life I have never lost the ability to stop along the way and find meaning, beauty and growth. I guess this is how the Lord brought me to where I am today. Have you ever really thought about that? All of the pitstops along our way have actually been stepping stones to where we currently stand. The experiences, the places and the people. Especially the people. All along our way we meet and interact with individuals who will truly shape who we become. Think about that for where you are today. The people that you brush shoulders with, have conversations with and even watch from afar will deeply affect who you will become tomorrow. Maybe this realization will make us more grateful for the people that God puts in our path. Have you ever stopped to thank someone from your past or even your present for helping you to become the person you are? May this be the day and may this be the moment that we become grateful for the people, places and experiences that have shaped our lives. I, for one, can say that I am a better woman, a more Godly woman, a more humble woman because of who God has allowed me to share the road of life with. Thank you to all who have touched my life and thank you to all who will......I am forever grateful!!!!

Lovebug Hugs,
Lori

10 comments:

Bug said...

Lori Im praying that lung pops open, I hope they are doing CPT regularly....(it helps) At least he is stable enough now that his is able to remain on C-pap (much better then the vent) Im thinking of you guys so much and praying and praying for the very best... Big Bug Hugs Sheila

Anonymous said...

Lori,
Once again you have touched my life! You have caused me to stop and reflect back on those who have truly touched my life. You are one that has touched mine in the midst of everything you and Randy are going through in this season of your life. As the seasons change around us and as we choose to see the beauty in each season, we pray that this season with Connor will pass quickly and that healing will come to his little body and then truly enjoy the next season in his precious life. I pray that everyone who reads your latest blog tonight will look back, stop and take time to reflect on those who have touched their lives and that they can see the stepping stones God has provided for the place that we currently stand. Lori, you are an amazing Woman of God and you continue to be Godly example to everyone around you, not just in your strong moments but also in your most vulnerable, frustrating moments too! We love your family and are praying for you guys.
Love,
Sue & family

Aunt Teresa said...

Lori & Randy,

We are praying for Connor's lung to open up & heal. Connor is such a strong little fighter, He is an OVERCOMER! Thank you Lori for your beautiful writing. It has touched so many I'm sure again as it has touched me. We stand along side you as prayer warriors for Little bug's healing to take place.

Lord, We ask you right now in Jesus Name to open up Connor's lung & let it function properly. Touch his little body we pray & surround him with your angels, let them whisper in his ear songs of sweet love & comfort. We ask again for your healing touch upon his whole body. I pray for your holy presence to be poured out over Lori & Randy, give them peace admidst all the worry. I pray for Randy's safe return home. Amen!

Sending warm hugs your way, Teresa

Anonymous said...

Oh and Happy 9 Month Birthday Little bug. You are a blessing to us! Lovebug hugs & kisses from Auntie Teresa & family.

Anonymous said...

Hi Lori
Wow! Once again I am amazed by your writing. It is so true when you talk about the stops along the journey. I often like to refer it to a puzzle. Have you ever put together a huge puzzle that had so many pieces and then you finally got to the end and there was one or two pieces missing? You finally found that one and it was really ugly, tatterd and torn or maybe chewed up by the dog, or part of the photo torn off? Or maybe there were other pieces in that HUGE puzzle that looked a little creased or not so clear and yet other pieces may have looked just perfect! Well I like to compare that to life.......or our "journey". You see, we need ALL of those pieces to create the whole puzzle (our life) to complete the whole plan and the puzzle would not be the complete picture in the end with out ALL the pieces. God uses all the "pieces" in our lives for a reason. Sometimes we can not make any sense of it and it may really hurt at times and we may even get really angry at God. But, once again the one truth that still remains is that God is God and His word says that He will never leave me or hurt me. He sees my every need and knows my every pain. Tonight I was doing my bible study again (true faced) and it was talking about Love and how I can not give love until I have first learned how to receive love. This really hit me hard because I, like you, like to help others but have a hard time receiving. I am reminded that God wants to bless me and teach me through others and how to trust and receive His love. Tonight I would like to leave you with a scripture that I just got done reading and really blessed me. "Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders."Deut 33:12 Also, 2 Tim 2:13 "If we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself." I hope these scriptures give you strenght tonight (or actually it is early am and I should go to bed now LOL)
Love
Tammy

Heather said...

Connor,
HAPPY 9 MONTH BIRTHDAY! You are amazing!

Randy,
We love you dearly and are praying for a safe trip and return home. I know it is difficult being away at this time. I pray that the Lord is lifting your heart and is your encouragement and strength today.

Lori,
YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN! You are an AMAZING MOMMY! You are an AMAZING FRIEND! I thank God for you.
First, know that Connor is in our constant prayers as well as you and Randy and new little Bug. I pray that today the Lord will refresh you with a brand new mercy, a brand new strength, and brand new HOPE! May the very breath of God fill Connor's lung and inflate it miraculously with every new breath. Just as our creator filled the lungs of Adam and breathed life into him, so may it be with connor.

It was such a beautiful coincidence that I read this post after I returned from taking Lauren to school this morning. It was just Lauren and I in the car today. We always pray together on the way to school. This morning as I prayed, I was admiring the beauty of fall in Northern Virginia. The trees are turning brilliant red and orange, mixed with the green of summer. We had a wonderful rain through the night and the morning sun filled a cloudless sky. WHAT BEAUTIFUL CREATION! I just couldn't help but begin our prayer with praise an thanks for the beauty He has given us.

As I read on in your post, my thoughts went to many in my life who have impacted me and shaped me into the woman I am today. Do you know, YOU are one of those people. We have discussed it so often, but I want you to know, that from the moment we met, I knew that God placed you in my life for a purpose. My dear sister, I thank God for you!

I love you SOOOO! Have a beautiful day and give Little Bug big kisses from his Auntie Heather #2.

Heather B.

Auntie Heather Milliren said...

Happy 9th Month Birthday Little Bug! I hope that you are feeling so much better. And, soon too! We love you dearly! We won't ever stop praying for you.

Love, Auntie Heather Milliren & Company

Your sister-in-heart, Heather Milliren, said...

Oh Lori,

You are truly an amazing woman of God. Yes, God continues to refine you and those with whom you have "bumped" into on your life's path. I cannot explain why you have to be by Connor's bedside in ICU. But, you are right, it is all part of the stepping stones that the Lord is using you for even greater things.

I am praying for your strength today and that maybe you can step outside for some fresh fall air. You and the new baby could use some fresh air, rays of sunshine and a change of scenery for a few moments. Be strong, dear sister-in-heart, and be confident that the Lord is always present.

I love you,

Heather

Anonymous said...

Lori & Randy
Be strong, you can do all things through Christ who stenghtens you. I pray for your family everyday. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. I find myself checking almost daily to see how you are. The little bug is in the good Lord's hands where he is always safe. God bless you for your strength and courage. Hang in there.
Deb Jones

Tammee, Michael's Mom said...

I want to thank you, Randy, Conner and your parents for touching our lives. I am so glad God has placed you in our lives.
Lord, please shine on Lori today and let her see that you are there holding her and Conner. Please give her strength and peace. Let her know how deeply loved she is by you and all her friends and family. Please place your healing hands on Conner and give Lori light and spirit back into her step. In Jesus name. Amen!
Love you always-
Tammee