Tuesday, March 21, 2006

A battle for breath...

Watching our little bug battle for breath is painful. Seeing his little body gasp for the very air he needs is heart-wrenching. With his ventilator out this afternoon Connor is certainly fighting for each tiny breath he gets. His heart rate is high because he’s working so hard and now that I can hear his little voice & sounds he is wheezing and panting like he just ran a marathon. Oh Lord, let our son breath with ease!!!! Please help him fight!!

As I sit here by Connor’s bedside I’ve been praying for him. The Lord brought to mind a couple of scriptures in Isaiah 42 that I used to use in my counseling practice quite often.

Isaiah 42:2a, 3a, “He will be gentle…A bruised reed He will not break and a smoldering flame He will not snuff out...”
Isaiah 42:3b, “…He will encourage the fainthearted, those tempted to despair…”

What a comfort these verses are to me. I pray faithfully that Connor would be treated with kindness and gentleness. Even in the midst of his struggle, I believe that gentleness has been shown to him and most of the time gentle hands have touched his body. I’ve talked in other blogs about all of his pokes and bruises, and today I counted 24 pokes alone just on his feet. His legs and wrists are bruised now too. As a protective mama I look on when they come with their needles and I feel that this next poke will be the one to break Connor. But, as I trust God with Connor, he reminds me that “a bruised reed He will not break and a smoldering flame He will not snuff out.” Thank you, Lord, for comforting, cradling and protecting our little bug from harm.

As for me this afternoon I feel a bit like the description above in Is. 42:3b, “fainthearted.” When I catch myself spiraling into that zone of worry and despair for Connor, I must force myself to look up!!! I must find my strength and encouragement in Him. So that is where I find myself this afternoon, looking up and trusting God to help Connor win his battle for breath.
Continue to pray for peaceful breath for Connor!!!!
Lovebug Hugs,
Lori

5 comments:

Amy Fields said...

I just get the chills remembering all of this. The parallels are amazing. I will be praying for calm breaths, to watch that struggle is so painful. I can tell he is a fighter, God please continue Connor's healing, not only to continue to fight but one day very soon, to thrive! Can I come for a visit on Sunday? Love, Amy

Heather Bennett said...

Lori, My prayers right now are that God will actually breathe every breath into Connor. That he very breath that fills his lungs be the very breath of God. As He did with Adam, may God breathe into Connor the very breath of life!
Lori, I know you love your little bug. We have talked about how precious that special love is and the fact that God gave you that "mother's heart". That heart causes you pain when you see your little one hurt and struggle. But you are absolutely right, LOOK UP!! Ps. 121:1-2 "I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."... and the Maker of Connor and Lori and Randy. Turn your eyes upon Jesus!

I love you and am praying constantly!
Heather B.

Anonymous said...

Randy and Lori
WE will be praying like crazy. It was kinda cute tonight......Gavin our 4 yr. older was playing his little key board and I heard him saying, "come on everybody it is time to worship!" Then he started praying in his microphone for Connor, "Dear Jesus please help Connor to feel all better so he can come to church and not be sick anymore!" He obviously has heard us talk a lot about the little bug and sees the need for prayer at the age of 4. SOOOOOO many people are praying.
Love
Tammy

Anonymous said...

Lori,

What a tough thing to watch your son struggle. I think you are an amazing woman! God is using you even now in the midst of pain.

My prayer tonite was that God would breathe the very breath in Connor that he needs. That God would give you peace & comfort & hope when you need it most & that Connor will show his Mama & Daddy how strong he is & that he will become that Mighty Man of God you so desire.
God is good, Thankfully we can go to him with all our petitions & pleas.

I will continually pray for our "Little Bug"...

Give him a big hug & kiss for us!

All our love & prayers,
Auntie Teresa

Anonymous said...

Auntie Lori, Uncle Randy ,& Little buddy Connor,

I said a prayer tonite too. It may not sound like much but my Mama say's that God listens to little one's prayer's just as much as big people's...

"Dear God, Make Connor better"

Tell Connor when he's feeling up to it I want him to come over & "play"! I'll show him how it's done!

Love, Big buddy Jake